Chapter 48
That day.
I vomited after seeing a cockroach buried in the flesh of a fish, and then passed out.
Because of that, what should have been the first—and almost last—family meal ended in a complete mess.
At the memory pressing in on me, I squeezed my eyes shut.
— Kyaaahhhh!
The sound of dishes clashing and the voices of the Duke and Ethan talking were mixed together with a terrible scream.
Beeeep—
Along with it, a ringing in my ears.
I couldn’t regain my senses.
“…Before the subjugation, I think I’ll go to the duchy for a bit.”
“To Arcarna?”
“Yes. Recently, there have been reports that ‘invaders’ are appearing without any demonic energy, so I’d like to check it out…”
“…Are you making proper preparations for the memorial ceremony?”
“….”
“…Idit?”
“Huff.”
I gasped harshly, like someone who had been dragged up from deep underwater.
“…Y-yes?”
Finally coming to my senses, I saw the Duke and Ethan looking at me with puzzled expressions.
“Is there something wrong with the food? Why are you just staring at it without moving a finger?”
“Ah…”
“You usually like this menu, don’t you?”
Following the Duke, Ethan added his words.
Of all things, Idit liked fish.
I felt like crying a little.
I wanted to pretend to eat at least a few bites, but my hands wouldn’t move.
I felt like I was going to gag right there…
“I… I can’t eat it.”
“….”
“I feel a bit sick…”
I barely managed to mutter that in a strained voice like a scream, then hurriedly tried to leave the table in panic.
“Sorry. May I go upstairs first?”
“Chef!”
At that moment, the Duke suddenly called the chef with a stern expression and rang the bell.
Jingle, jingle!
The bell rang loudly over the quiet dining table.
“Y-yes, Duke!”
Soon, the chef rushed over in a panic, pale as a sheet.
I expected the Duke to scold my rude behavior in front of everyone.
— What are you doing? That’s disgusting!
— Hey! Call the manager right now! What kind of hygiene is this?!
— Stop making excuses and get up right now! Yusol!
At least, that’s how my biological father would have reacted.
He would shout at me, unable to keep his temper in check as I kept retching and losing control.
As if everything was my fault.
But—
“Clear all of this immediately and bring light, easy-to-digest food! And don’t forget digestive medicine!”
“W-what? Is there something wrong with the food…?”
“How did you cook it to make the child like this?!”
Surprisingly, instead of scolding me, the Duke blamed the chef without hesitation.
I was startled and tried to stop him.
“F-father! I’m okay!”
“What do you mean okay! Look at your face—pale as a sheet!”
“I-I just overate! I was too nervous earlier…”
“Hm. Spending over an hour alone with that guy—no wonder you’d get indigestion.”
Fortunately, my excuse seemed to work.
While the Duke softened, I gestured to the chef, who looked dejected, and pointed at my untouched plate.
“Just take mine.”
“What do you mean, just yours! Clean everything and bring some stew you had for breakfast!”
“I’m fine. You were enjoying your meal—don’t stop because of me, Father.”
“If the meal ends with everyone frowning, what’s the point of eating together as a family? You hardly ever show up for meals as it is…”
He said that, and I had nothing more to say.
While I was flustered, the table was quickly cleared.
Ironically, once the fishy smell faded, I started to feel slightly better.
Instead of the lavish plated dishes, simple stew, bread, and fruit were brought out.
With the dining room atmosphere suddenly changed, I stared at the table with a somewhat dazed expression.
“Go ahead and eat. You were fine after breakfast, I believe. If you want something else, just say so.”
“Not that I…”
“You need to eat a few spoonfuls before taking medicine. Taking medicine on an empty stomach will ruin your stomach, you fool!”
At the Duke’s scolding, I reluctantly picked up a spoon and scooped some stew.
It was the same tomato stew I had eaten in the morning, but strangely, it felt so good it almost made me cry.
Swallowing down my queasy feelings, I glanced around—Ethan was already elegantly tearing into bread.
As the situation settled and the Duke resumed eating, the room quickly became quiet.
Eating silently, Ethan let out a small sigh and spoke.
“…Did you leave Idit alone with that man, without even a butler? Both of them could act unpredictably—you should have stopped it as much as possible.”
“I tried to stop him. But that guy insisted he wanted to talk to Idit alone. What could I do?”
The Duke replied with a weary expression.
“So I only said a few words after arriving, and he ended up like that. Honestly, I don’t know who he takes after—he’s so temperamental…”
“It’s said that when people wake up from a coma, their personality or preferences can sometimes change completely.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It would be best to get to know him gradually from now on.”
They were clearly talking about me, but I couldn’t bring myself to join in.
Probably because I wasn’t simply ‘Idit’ who changed due to illness.
I felt heavy inside.
While I quietly picked at my food, the Duke suddenly spoke to me.
“I’ll tell the butler to arrange it—if the weather’s nice tomorrow, go out and do some shopping.”
“Shopping?”
“Yes. It’ll help you refresh, and you should start preparing for the Equinus Memorial Ceremony.”
“Ah…”
At a familiar-sounding name, I blinked.
‘Wasn’t that some kind of festival on an island?’
“On the day of the total lunar eclipse, the imperial family and nobles gather at Equinus Island, located in the northwest.
To honor the noble sacrifices of the Awakeners who protected the country with their lives, and to pray for the future.
Meanwhile, the blue moon caused by the total eclipse is the same phenomenon that appeared when the first Gate was formed…”
I wasn’t sure why it had to be that island, but it was something from the novel.
Thinking of that, I hesitated and asked.
“…Do I have to go too?”
“Of course. Aren’t you of the Blake direct line?”
“But…”
As far as I knew, that memorial ceremony was mostly for Awakeners.
Not only a ceremony, but also a subjugation battle was held to defeat sea monsters hiding in the deep sea.
My hesitant tone must have sounded like I was whining, because the Duke snapped.
“How long are you going to stay cooped up in the house? Go out, make some friends, and improve your reputation by showing you came back safely from the Gate!”
“Father. She’ll get indigestion again.”
Thankfully, Ethan stepped in just in time.
The Duke flinched and fell silent with a dissatisfied expression.
“Stop picking at your food and take your medicine.”
At Ethan’s instruction, I gladly set the spoon down.
I felt like I’d get indigestion even on an empty stomach if I kept going like this.
I obediently took the digestive medicine.
The liquid was extremely bitter.
Frowning, I set the bottle down, and the Duke quickly handed me chocolate for dessert.
“How is it? Should I call a healer right now? Hm?”
“Ah, no… gh—”
I tried to take it with my hand, but he shoved it into my mouth without warning, and I ended up eating it.
The Duke smiled warmly as he watched me.
Seeing that, my heart suddenly sank.
“Um, I… I’d like to go rest now, Father.”
“Alright.”
Fortunately, permission was granted.
“If you get hungry, tell them—you can eat anything anytime.”
“Thank you.”
At his gentle voice, as if speaking to his own daughter, I quickly stood up.
If I didn’t, I felt like he would see my face twisted in a mess.
I don’t remember how I left the dining room and went upstairs.
Bang!
As if being chased, I hurried back to my room and closed the door, then collapsed to the floor as before.
“…I’m being deceived again.”
It’s because I’m starved for affection.
They say people who didn’t receive love growing up tend to fall easily for even a little kindness.
But—
— “What do you mean okay! Look at your face—pale as a sheet!”
— “How is it? Should I call a healer right now? Hm?”
Those worried faces. That warm voice.
It didn’t feel like it was fake at all.
I covered my face with both hands.
A sudden feeling of self-loathing rose within me.
I was so shocked that Idit’s situation was so different from what I knew…
…and envious
