Chapter 9: RMTOP

Chapter 09 

While mingling with his fellow academy graduates, Julian couldn’t take his eyes off the woman with the blue eyes, the brunette hair, and the white dress.

His classmate, who had been loudly proposing a toast, noticed that Julian’s attention was elsewhere.

“Hey, Haber. Who are you staring at like that?”

Julian frowned slightly and murmured,

“I wonder…”

He wasn’t sure. Her outfit was so different that he couldn’t be certain.

But the moment their eyes had met, she had hurriedly slipped into a group of ladies—clearly like someone trying to hide. And every so often, she glanced his way before flinching and looking away again. That alone confirmed it.

That striking, vivid blue—like spilled paint. Such a shade was rare.

No matter how he looked at her, she was the same girl he had seen in the lobby of Hotel Gold Blenheim. Back then, she had not looked like a noble lady at all…

So what on earth was going on?

Julian asked casually,

“The lady standing next to the viscountess—who is she?”

“The viscountess?”

“The brunette in the white dress beside Lady Talbot.”

“The brunette… white dress… ah. That must be Miss Rockwood.”

“…Rockwood?”

Julian froze.

The most miserable day of his life. The strangest day of his life.

A girl wearing a doll-like, overly fancy dress that didn’t fit the small train station at all.

“Good afternoon, young sir. I seem to have lost my way. Could you help me? Ah, I forgot to introduce myself. I am…”

She had been lost, yet spoke so calmly—refined in a way that was unusual for a child.

“I am Diane of House Rockwood.”

The foggy memory slowly sharpened.

A pale face. Pink cheeks.

Cobalt-blue eyes like the sea. Come to think of it, even back then, those eyes had caught his attention.

“Good heavens…”

That girl… was that child?

While Julian stood there dazed, his intoxicated classmates chimed in one after another.

“Rockwood? The Rockwoods from Winderbury?”

“Oh right. Where is Miss Rockwood? I didn’t come here to celebrate Charles—I came to see her. I heard she’s beautiful.”

At that moment, Miss Rockwood lifted her head slightly, and the couple blocking her view shifted aside.

Julian blinked.

A small crown of hair that barely reached his ribs.

A childlike voice that never stopped chattering.

Small hands that had clung tightly to his as if they would never let go.

And yet, in an instant, she had so easily let go and walked away.

Meanwhile, his classmates kept talking.

“What was her name again?”

“I think it’s Diane.”

“But isn’t that Miss Rockwood the one who’s supposedly… insane?”

Julian frowned without realizing it.

When she had introduced herself, he hadn’t known how prominent the Rockwood family was.

Later, he had happened upon a newspaper article. Normally he would have ignored it, but the name Rockwood caught his eye.

It turned out the Rockwood family was frequently mentioned in news sheets beyond local papers. He realized Diane Rockwood was no ordinary young lady.

The tragedy that had struck House Rockwood was still being reported even now. There was hardly anyone in Rosin who didn’t know about it.

For a brief moment, something like concern had lingered in him after reading the news about what had happened to that girl.

But he had just entered active service at the time. Diane Rockwood had soon faded from his mind.

“She does seem like a rather unusual lady.”

“She looks pretty normal to me.”

Someone clicked their tongue.

“Actually my type, if I’m honest.”

“Forget it. Lady Selden is guarding her. She’s already rejected more than ten suitors.”

“That’s a bit excessive, isn’t it?”

“There’s a marriage arrangement with the Boden family.”

The Boden family—whose wealthy heir Louis Boden spent more time in Britt than anywhere else in Rosin—had recently become a topic of gossip when he unexpectedly left for Midros right before the social season. It became even more interesting when it was revealed he had traveled to accompany the Rockwood family.

“Miss Rockwood and the Boden family? Does Boden even have a son?”

“His wife died last year.”

A brief silence followed. Then outrage exploded a few seconds later.

“Oh my God. So… with that fat old man?”

“I think I’ve heard of two Mrs. Bodens. No—make that three now.”

“The Rockwood finances must be in serious trouble!”

Julian’s gaze remained fixed on Diane’s face. From some point on, she no longer looked in his direction, and their eyes did not meet again.

She seemed not to remember him at all.

That made sense. It had only been a day—half a day, really.

More importantly, it had been ten years.

She had been nine or ten back then.

…Still, the girl who had looked so pale and about to collapse in Martnley was now, thankfully, perfectly fine.

“Then that’s that.”

Just as he deliberately tried to look away—

“Um, Captain.”

A sweet voice called him.

A flicker of boredom crossed Julian’s face, but he turned with the polite expression of a well-bred gentleman.

“Yes, madam.”

She began speaking excitedly, overwhelmed by emotion, while he listened with detached politeness. Neither of them was truly paying attention.

Julian occasionally smiled mechanically, just enough to satisfy her.

He looked down at the noblewoman, who was blushing and unable to meet his eyes.

Her gaze, breath, pulse, gestures—everything revealed admiration, affection, desire directed at him.

I love you.

It was as if she were whispering it.

Just like countless others who had said the same to him before.

Adoption, enlistment, abandonment.

In his earlier years, when he was starving for affection, he had once believed those words—and been hurt by them.

The solution had been surprisingly simple.

Expect nothing. Trust no one. Let no one take your heart.

After that, people became as light as air. Nothing could hurt him.

There was no cleaner or more convenient way to live.

And he was quite satisfied with it.

With no trust or expectations toward people—and focused on advancement—marriage had never been part of his plans.

And yet suddenly, they were telling him to become Julian Clemens again.

To marry.

…To hell with that. Why should he?

Julian had never known stability in his life.

But after unexpectedly entering the academy, enduring it all, and rising to captain with his own effort, he had finally managed to stand on his own.

It finally felt like he had found balance.

And now, once again, his biological father and that family were trying to drag his life into chaos.

“Pride is not a good thing to cling to. Not if you wish to remain in the military.”

It had likely been the countess’s idea of advice.

But the more he thought about it, the more resentment built inside him.

Marriage? Not a chance. Especially not a marriage chosen by that family.

Julian did not leave Britt immediately. Instead, he stayed, openly defying them. He enjoyed the social season as usual, observing all the scandals from the sidelines.

Let them think it arrogance. He would not let anyone steer his life.

He glanced back at Diane.

She was speaking politely with the noblewomen, looking like a proper, obedient young lady.

She’s nothing like me. Not even close.

A strange pressure tightened in his chest.

…But so what?

Julian Haber was in no position to worry about Diane Rockwood.

Her piercing blue eyes flashed beneath the chandelier, and it reminded him again of that most miserable day of his life.

He kissed the hand of a noblewoman gazing at him with expectation, then left the ballroom with a tired expression.

Diane grew increasingly flustered. After that, she kept accidentally meeting Julian’s gaze.

He definitely seemed to recognize her as well. Whatever had happened, it was not a pleasant memory for either of them.

At least it wasn’t for her.

Sometimes she froze, overwhelmed by an unexplainable fear that she never wanted anyone to notice.

And judging from his expression in the hotel lobby that day, it felt as though he had already seen through everything.

He must have thought she was strange.

He might even think she was insane.

What if he spread rumors like the servants?

Diane wanted to pretend they didn’t know each other. She feared he might suddenly approach her again like he had in Martnley, so she pretended to focus on conversations with the noblewomen.

After some time, she casually glanced around to check on him.

But he was nowhere to be seen.

Startled, she looked around again.

Still nothing.

A strange sense of relief—and embarrassment—washed over her. It felt like she had been overthinking everything alone. Maybe even their eye contact had been coincidence.

At that moment, someone proposed a toast to the guest of honor.

“To Captain Dowmer!”

The hour struck again.

Only then did Diane realize it was already past one o’clock. An entire hour had passed while she was distracted by Julian’s arrival.

Lady Selden had told her not to return too late.

That meant there was not much time left.

Diane quickly searched for Lady Selden.

But Lady Selden wasn’t looking at her. She was deeply engaged in conversation with a noblewoman, holding her hand in a serious discussion.

Diane glanced toward the entrance.

There she saw a young nobleman who had earlier been rejected after requesting a dance—now leaving the hall alone. A dark blue suit with a faint sheen, blond hair. The second son of Baron Tate’s family, recently graduated from university.

Diane instinctively realized this was her last chance.

Her body moved before her thoughts did.

Slowly stepping backward, she suddenly turned and hurried out of the ballroom.