A refreshing Saturday morning!
Sure, I'd drunk a little too much, but this body had mastered the Daeseon Dang Family's cultivation technique.
A mere hangover? While I slept, my internal energy would neatly and efficiently detoxify it all on its own.
Stretching comfortably, I opened the window.
A peaceful weekend bathed in warm sunlight beneath a clear blue sky.
"...Holy shit!"
The moment memories of the previous night flooded my mind like a panoramic film, I let out a scream.
This was bad. Really bad. Completely, utterly screwed.
I had to erase the evidence first.
Without even bothering to properly change clothes, I sprinted toward the park.
"...Phew."
Fortunately, it seemed I'd recovered the needles yesterday.
Waiting until nobody was near the fountain, I suppressed my presence and approached the statue. I needed to remove the marks where the needles had been embedded.
It felt wasteful to spend internal energy on this, but there was no helping it.
I carefully smoothed over the acupoints I'd carved into the statue while drunk.
"Ugh! I thought I'd gotten rid of my drunken habits."
It was genuinely terrifying.
How long had it been since I'd drunk past my limit?
Even considering my lack of internal energy, times I'd gotten this drunk could be counted on one hand.
Before coming to the Murim, nobody had ever forced me to drink.
I rarely attended school events, and the only part-time job I'd had was tutoring.
The first time I really drank heavily was after I started learning martial arts.
I used to party with the younger martial artists, drinking nonstop and reveling in the feeling of being a true martial artist.
Back then, I was so excited and fascinated that I'd often show off my techniques while drunk.
Who would've thought that habit would still remain after all these years?
I was far too old to be called one of the younger generation now.
"It's okay. At least I knew not to talk about the Murim."
I carefully recalled the conversations from the drinking party.
The only thing I'd hidden was some family history, and that wasn't exactly a secret.
As for my experiences in the Murim, I hadn't mentioned a single word.
Right.
I hadn't talked about them.
"...Han Yeowon, you idiot."
What was the point of not talking when my actions screamed, 'I'm suspicious!' from head to toe?
What exactly was I supposed to tell Seo In-ae now?
Should I say it was magic? No, my movements themselves were weird. Maybe I should claim I used to be a gymnast...?
As I trudged along, desperately brainstorming excuses, my phone rang.
The caller was, naturally, Seo In-ae.
"Hello, Director. Are you enjoying your weekend? Sorry for calling on a day off. But... if you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened yesterday?"
As always, she politely asked for an explanation.
What happened?
What happened was that my life was over.
If I started talking about internal energy, she'd think I was insane.
Who besides cult recruiters talked like that?
At this point, should I just switch careers and become a cult leader?
"I woke up and found a video on my phone."
Right.
Would you mind deleting that video for me?
Be hypnotized! Hah!
I desperately attempted to send telepathic messages that weren't even possible.
Naturally, Seo In-ae heard nothing.
"I drank way too much yesterday, so I don't remember anything that happened. Did you record it, Director?"
"...Huh?"
She didn't remember?
Well, if I got that drunk, In-ae probably got even worse...
The moment she said her memory was fuzzy, a spark of hope appeared.
Come to think of it, I wasn't the only one who'd lost my senses.
Seo In-ae had gotten completely drunk too, spilling all kinds of personal stories.
Right after recording the video, she'd become absurdly excited and practically sprinted home.
Normally she wasn't the type to get that hyper.
If she truly couldn't remember...
Then there was a way out.
"It was computer graphics."
The answer was simple.
Deny everything.
My nerd history wasn't limited to martial arts novels.
In fantasy manga set in modern worlds, whenever someone witnessed magic, they always claimed it was CGI.
If she'd seen it clearly while sober, that'd be one thing.
But if she was drunk and couldn't remember?
There was hope.
And if she didn't believe me?
So what?
I said it was CGI.
"CGI? Ah..."
"I played a lot of darts in college. Then we added some graphics afterward. We made it together last night. Don't you remember?"
When I put my mind to it, I was actually quite good at lying.
I'd once convinced the Martial Alliance Leader that I had never met the Heavenly Demon before.
I had successfully fooled some of the greatest experts in the world.
Aside from my master, nobody ever saw through me.
And this wasn't even face-to-face.
I'd stayed calm in front of martial legends.
Compared to being imprisoned in the Martial Alliance's underground prison, talking to Seo In-ae was nothing.
My voice definitely wasn't trembling.
Definitely.
"Ah... I guess it was because I kept talking about YouTube..."
Got her!
She believed me!
Success.
Relief washed over me.
Once she'd accepted the explanation, everything became easy.
Hahahahaha!
"No worries. I'm glad it can help. My editing skills aren't great, though~ Maybe you can polish it up before uploading!"
I spoke casually, trying to sound relaxed.
"You're really okay with me using it?"
"Of course!"
"Thank you! I'm seriously touched. I'll make sure your face doesn't appear in the final upload. See you Monday."
"Yep~ Have a good weekend. Sorry for getting you so drunk."
And with that, I survived the crisis and hung up.
Wait...
Shouldn't I have asked her to delete it?
The realization came too late.
Well.
Whatever.
Maybe she'd edit it enough to make it look even more fake.
Becoming friends with Seo In-ae turned out to be a fantastic decision.
She was ecstatic that her YouTube views were rising thanks to me and, rather than slacking off at the clinic, she threw herself into her work even harder.
Then again, if she were the type to neglect her main job because of a side income, she'd have quit long ago when she started her online store.
And after discovering just how obsessed she was with money, I introduced a new incentive system.
Bonuses based on patient numbers and clinic revenue.
The result?
She transformed completely.
"Director, may I offer some interior design suggestions?"
"Of course~"
"I'd like you to take down that hideous painting you hung up. We should add some plants and change the curtains too."
"...Ah?"
"If you're okay with it, I'll prepare a few options. Honestly, I can't trust the aesthetic judgment of someone who thought that painting was acceptable."
The cold, businesslike attitude she'd once had vanished completely.
Now she actively searched for things to improve.
About a week after uploading the video...
Blessed by the YouTube algorithm, the view count that had been slowly climbing suddenly exploded.
"Uh... uhhh?!"
The Shorts video alone hit three million views, meeting the requirements for monetization.
"Waaaaah! Director, I love you!"
Checking the numbers during work hours, Seo In-ae completely forgot she was on the job and ran into the treatment room.
Well...
Three million views probably justified that reaction.
"Ah?"
The one startled by her outburst was Kim Yijin, who had been receiving treatment with her eyes closed.
Realizing her mistake, Seo In-ae immediately regained her composure.
"My apologies. I respect you."
"Uh... I respect the Director too."
"Right. Thanks, both of you."
Whew.
Thankfully Yijin was the only patient there today.
That could've become a problem.
Anyway, the 20%-power Mancheon Hwau video became far more popular than expected.
People of all ages watched it.
Even foreigners occasionally left comments.
Still, it all felt like an internet phenomenon.
Nothing in real life really changed.
The clinic continued operating at its usual leisurely pace.
Until one day...
"Is it real? Could you show me just once?"
"Of course it's CGI. How could it possibly be real?"
A martial-arts-loving elementary school student tracked down the clinic.
"At least show me the needle technique before the CGI effects!"
"This is a medical clinic. Please don't disrupt our work."
"I'll wait until you're done!"
"That's not happening. Our Director is busy."
"Eeeeh... Then I'm a patient too! Please register me!"
Although my face never appeared in the video, Seo In-ae's vlog clips did.
And by pure coincidence, the boy's older brother attended the same high school as Kim Yijin and recognized Seo In-ae from seeing her near a vending machine during lunch.
"...It's fine. Let him in."
Seo In-ae was doing her best to block him, but it was only a matter of time before people found us anyway.
One kid wasn't a big deal.
Maybe showing him some dart throwing would satisfy him.
"Um... my stomach hurts!"
"What's your name, buddy?"
"Yoon-ho! Jin Yoon-ho!"
The child who had clearly come because of the Mancheon Hwau video grinned from ear to ear.
Though, technically, he'd never actually mentioned the video.
My master would've scolded him for that.
"What grade are you in?"
"Second grade, Class One, Sewon Elementary School!"
Looking at those sparkling eyes, I couldn't bring myself to send him away.
"Could you... show me the needles just once?"
At that point, I decided to indulge him.
It wasn't a difficult request.
I opened a packet of acupuncture needles and handed one to him.
"Can I throw it?"
To answer, I demonstrated.
A needle disappeared into my sleeve.
Whoosh.
With perfect form, I flicked three needles toward the wall.
"Woooooow!"
Naturally, without internal energy, the needles simply bounced off and fell to the floor.
Fortunately, Yoon-ho was thrilled just seeing them fly.
"That's awesome! Like hidden weapons!"
"Right? Then these go into your body about this much and help treat pain."
"Wow."
He nodded enthusiastically, unable to take his eyes off the needle.
"Be careful. It'll bleed if you stab yourself. Go ahead and try throwing one."
"Really?"
Since we weren't exactly busy, I spent ten minutes playing with him.
I corrected his posture and even gave him sheets of thin medicinal paper to pierce with the needles.
Then I said,
"Alright. Time for treatment."
The details of the examination weren't important.
One glance told me he wasn't actually sick.
After entertaining him long enough, I planned to insert a few needles into digestive-system acupoints and send him home.
"W-Whoa! The needle's going in!"
"First time getting acupuncture?"
"Yeah. Whoa... this feels weird."
To my surprise, he handled it quite well.
"It feels like those fine needles from martial arts novels. The hidden weapons used by the Tang Clan!"
"You've read martial arts novels? You're an elementary school kid."
"Yep! I read the ones my dad bought. A bookstore near our house was closing, so he bought a huge pile. No matter how much I read, I never reach the end!"
The conversation unexpectedly continued.
An elementary school student who loved rental-shop wuxia novels?
That was rare.
"Which one was your favorite?"
"Legend of the Tang Clan. Have you read it too, Director?"
"...Yes. I loved that one. After reading it, I ended up reading dozens more martial arts novels."
And somehow he'd mentioned my all-time favorite.
One I'd read at least twenty times.
"The protagonist is so cool. And when you read it, it feels like you're really sitting in an inn in Sichuan. I kept begging my dad to make dumplings because of it."
"Ah, right. Come to think of it, that novel was why I wanted to visit Sichuan so badly."
"No way! You've been there? I want to go when I grow up!"
Back in high school, I'd developed the exact same romanticized image of Sichuan.
The result...
Well.
Things had turned out a little differently.
As we talked, small talk gradually became big talk.
"The hidden weapons are the best. And poison techniques are awesome too. Honestly, I don't like modern web novels where Namgung Clan, Wudang Sect, or Mount Hua Sect protagonists automatically have immunity to poison."
Was that really something a nine-year-old should be saying?
His father must rant about this stuff all the time.
"Right? There are more Tang Clan protagonists these days, but they don't have that old feeling. I liked when the Tang Clan was morally gray and willing to use any means necessary."
"Exactly!"
"But if they go too far, it doesn't work either. What's cool is the sense of chivalry that emerges from chaos. Keeping that balance is hard..."
Beep beep beep beep.
A machine announced that the physical therapy session in the neighboring bed had ended.
Oops.
I'd gotten so absorbed in nerding out with an elementary school kid that I'd lost track of time.
Blushing slightly, I stood up.
"Stay here for a moment. I'll be right back."
"Okay!"
In the next bed lay Mrs. Heo Soon-nam, one of our most frequent visitors after Kim Yijin.
"Hello. How did you feel after yesterday's treatment?"
"Director, thanks to you I'm flying these days! My... sten... stenosis! The stenosis disappeared completely!"
"Stenosis doesn't exactly disappear like that... well, as long as you're not in pain."
"A miracle doctor! A miracle doctor!"
Giving me a thumbs-up, she chatted happily while I placed needles in her lower back.
"Director, should I do cupping therapy for Jin Yoon-ho?"
"I'll handle it."
I returned to Yoon-ho.
"Director."
"Yeah?"
"Can you fix shoulders too?"
But the cheerful boy who had been chatting moments ago now wore an unusually serious expression.
"Of course."
"Even if they've been bad for a really long time?"
The answer came from the neighboring bed.
"My back hurt for forty-five years, and now it doesn't hurt at all!"
"As long as it's not a fracture or a completely torn ligament, treatment is possible. I'd need to examine them first."
Yoon-ho nodded.
The energy he'd shown earlier was gone.
His face looked gloomy.
I couldn't bring myself to ask him for web novel recommendations anymore.
Maybe someone in his family is sick...
"I'd like to pay now."
The treatment finished.
Yoon-ho stood at the reception desk with a seriousness far beyond his age.
Unfortunately, when he emptied his wallet, he only had 4,300 won.
Financially, he was still a perfectly ordinary elementary school student.
"Just give me one thousand."
I gave him a special ninety-percent discount and waved goodbye as he quietly left.
It would've been nice if he'd brought them tomorrow.
Maybe I should've asked more questions...
